Are You a Scissor?
“In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything. In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone’s letter.” Chinese Proverb
U.S. Army General Colin Luther Powell, who served in both Republican and Democratic administrations, is an American hero. He’s earned 11 decorations, including the Legion of Merit. He earned a purple heart after being wounded twice and a Bronze Star after rescuing his helicopter crew while under fire. Gen. Powell, our 65th United States Secretary of State, recruited our allies to the war against terrorism. He was also a leader in the enforcement of the United Nations’ resolutions’ disarmament of Iraq.
A warrior must understand anger well – and know how to deal with his own. General Powell says: “Get mad, then get over it.”
Some who get angry “get over it.” Some choose to never “get over it.” And some, while in the heat of anger, end their relationships with a quick and final – and often much regretted – snip. My father calls them “Scissors people.” Instead of dealing with the situation, they simply cut those people out of their lives. You’ve heard of them; they are first cousins to those who feud all their lives, sometimes for the silliest reasons. We’ve all met them. They spend their lives missing out.
Scissor people never give a chance for clarification or apology. They either don’t know or want to follow Apostle Mark’s advice: If someone angers you, don’t gossip behind their back. Confront them gently and hopefully. In other words, give them a chance to tell you where they were coming from.
Scissor people can and do ruin whole families. They move through life, scissoring friends, lovers, spouses, even children or parents out of their lives without warning. Yes, sometimes we do need to leave others if their behavior is toxic. But maybe, as my dad says, scissoring is just a foolish move that makes things worse. If so, take a deep breath and a hint from Mediterranean folks. Passionate Italians confront easily; they may – and often do — yell and fuss and fight and then, often in just minutes, get over their anger and Poof! They go on with life . . . and love.
Meditation for the Day
“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” Chinese Proverb
Action for the Day
Today, if I feel anger at someone, I won’t feed it. Only after my anger is dissipated will I address the issue. I’ll use my patience to solve issues, not my rusty old scissors.
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