Aren’t I great!
“It is almost impossible to find those who admire us entirely lacking in taste. “ J. Petit-Senn, French Poet
There was once a little girl who tried very hard to please her parents. She never did. Each time she succeeded at something, and said, “Look at what I did. Isn’t that good?” they answered crudely, “Self praise stinks.”
I once saw a photo of Lily as a little girl. It showed a neglected, unloved, sad-eyed child. What her cruel parents did not know was this: Self-love is not so vile a sin as self-neglect. Their abuse taught Lily to neglect herself and her needs.
Another child, Leah, raised on praise and appreciation, has posture and eyes filled with confidence and independence. Both little girls deserved love and affection. Whichever you are, you always deserved love and affection and appreciation for who you are.
Nathaniel Branden, a pioneer in the study of self esteem, says “Raising self-esteem is more than a matter of eliminating negatives; it requires the attainment of positives.” That means it’s not enough to tell yourself that you’ll stop abusing yourself; it means you need to nurture yourself positively . . . to give you what you need.
Now, everyone fluctuates in their level of self esteem from day to day. That’s why it’s not possible to just say “that person has a low – or high – self esteem. However, self-esteem is the tendency to accept oneself as competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and as worthy of happiness.
Both Lily and Leah feel competent to cope with life’s challenges. But Lily never learned she is worthy of happiness. She questions successes; she doesn’t “see” the affection and admiration many feel for her; she “misses” that she created her successes. Leah knows she’s deserving. She trusts her husband and son loves her; she trusts her skills.
We all deserve nurturing. Lily never learned to trust that she is “Okay.” You’ve seen her; she is the “people pleaser.” She nurtures everyone but herself.
Meditation for the Day
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddha (Gautama Buddha)
Action for the Day
Today, I will consider that I am worthy of happiness and respect. If necessary, I will seek help to learn who I am and how to connect with my nurturing self. I deserve nurturing.
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