Food for Thought
“Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables. They probably get jet-lagged, just like people.” Elizabeth Berry
A loud car horn sounded nearby. “Oh, there he is now”, said one neighbor. “It’s the farmer who sells produce here every Thursday.” We followed others to our parking lot. The elderly “down home” country man’s truck bed was filled with ripe tomatoes, fat strawberries, potatoes and onions. I’ve been a city gal for a long time but I dug into my pocket and treated myself to fat ripe strawberries – and lots of juicy memories.
Have you ever wandered in the woods searching for ripe wild blackberries? Have you ever taken the family out to a nearby farm to pick apples or beans or berries? Have you ever picked up fallen crabapples for your grandmother’s jelly? Did you ever grow a shiny huge red juicy delicious tomato? Or a bunch of tiny patio tomatoes for salads?
My grandfather shot and caught food. We had rabbit stew, venison meat, and fish galore. Now each ingredient in an average American meal has traveled at least 1,500 miles—and with the cost of gasoline, it shows in our food prices. And often tastes like cardboard.
How about trying the 100 mile diet? It’s no big deal; Europeans do it all the time.
Check out your yellow pages or your Chamber of Commerce. Where is the nearest farmers’ market? Farmers’ markets are chuck full of colorful, nutritious, and high quality food. Do you want to get it even fresher than that? Pack up the kids, your parents, or a “share neighbor” and drive to a farm where you pick your own. Or grow some melons or tomatoes or eggplants or beans all your own.
I remember our 10 year old son’s voice as he showed off the rows of veggies in our backyard to a young friend. His voice was filled with pride as he said to his buddy, “Here, have a cuke. We have lots of them.”
When was the last time you tasted a peach from the tree so juicy and sweet that it dripped down your chin? How about celebrating your food and trying the 100 mile diet?
Meditation for the Day
The great thing about eating local is that it’s not an all-or-nothing venture. Any small step you take protects your family’s health and supports small farmers in your area.
Action for the Day
This week, I’ll consider eating at least one thing that comes from less than 100 miles away. For fun. For tastier, healthier food. To save the environment. Why not?
Self Esteem: Up or Down?
Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. Eleanor Roosevelt
I was thinking today: Does being addicted to drugs, alcohol, tobacco, gambling or sex bring on mind-numbing low self esteem or does low self esteem lead to addictions?
Nathaniel Branden (no relative), Ph.D., a psychologist self-esteem pioneer says it’s both. He says, “The more solid our self esteem, the better equipped we are to cope with troubles that arise in our personal lives or in our careers, the quicker we are to pick ourselves up after a fall, the more energy we have to begin anew.”
So what is self-esteem? It is knowing you are able to handle challenges that come your way, and knowing that you deserve any good things that happen to you.
Here’s an unforgettable true story: Two dancers are equally talented, equally attractive. Both work very hard to succeed. One day, a famous agent sends each to meet an equally famous director. He needs a last minute replacement for an important television role. Both are called with little notice. Each young woman just washed her hair.
Nina quickly wraps a bright colored scarf over still damp hair, and in jeans and t-shirt rushes to meet the director who’s giving up his lunch hour to meet her. Atta, the other dancer, tells the agent, “Oh I could never go. My hair looks terrible.”
This is a true story. Nina has a healthy self esteem. She knows that nothing’s perfect but she will do the best she can. And she respects the director’s sacrifice to meet her.
Not long after, Atta quit her studies and gave up her dreams. Why? She cannot say but the truth is success came too close. Folks who have low self esteem fear success more than failure. A voice in their heads say “What, me? Who am I to deserve such success, such glory, such fame?” The right answer is “Why not me?”
Books: Nathaniel Branden, Six Pillars of Self Esteem, How to Raise Your Self Esteem
Meditation for the Day
“The things we hate about ourselves aren’t more real than things we like about ourselves.” Ellen Goodman
Action for the Day
Who am I, Nina or Atta? Who would I rather be? Today, I’ll start moving from here to there even if it takes a mentor, a plan, and/or a therapist to help me to do that.
The Surprise of Happiness
“You are probably already happy and just don’t know it.” Dave Waxler
Have you ever known a cat or a dog? A happy dog is very different from a happy cat. My neighbor Eileen has a sleek pale red cat that is totally content lying under Eileen’s porch chair, feeling the sun on her bones. She lies there, mellowed out, for hours as Eileen, herself a quiet woman, reads.
On the other hand, Hannah’s animal companion is a small red haired Pomeranian dog whose idea of happiness is running in the nearby field, digging up strange things that he promptly tries to eat – to Hannah’s horror – and is most happy rolling over and over in what Hannah refers to as “Don’t ask.”
Well, we all have different ways of being happy, too. One man’s hard work is another’s joy. One man’s drudgery is another’s joyful path to the end goal. One woman’s quiet domestic life is another’s sheer boredom.
Eileen, like her cat, lives very quietly. Her daily bike ride is her only “outside the house” time. She loves her silence and her introverted life. Her joy is shutting the door and the world out and herself and her cat, FitzyPoo, inside.
Hannah, on the other hand, is like her dog. She just has to get outside and run. Hannah roams at least part of every day, walking in the waterfront village where she lives, poking around in little shops, volunteering on boats and in a nearby lighthouse. She loves baking cakes and making soup and reading anything she can get her hands on but outside roaming and poking is the backbone of her happiness.
What makes you happy? Let’s think of life as a seesaw. If one end is loaded down with responsibilities, with serious goals, with the necessary, what is the happiness you choose to balance your seesaw?
Meditation for the Day
“The three grand essentials of happiness are: Something to do, Someone to love, and Something to hope for.” Alexander Chalmers
Action for the Day
Today, I’ll think about this: What are MY three essentials of happiness? What do I like to do? Who or what do I love? What do I hope for? Am I a mellow low laying cat or a frisky curious active dog?
The Magic of Today
“I live a day at a time. Each day I look for a kernel of excitement. In the morning I say: “What is my exciting thing for today?” Then, I do the day. Don’t ask me about tomorrow. Barbara Jordan
Sometimes I think how strange it is that though we have so many “time-saving” inventions, we never seem to have enough time in each day. My to-do- lists are never completed. I think maybe we should make our lists each evening, then eliminate all but three tasks. And spend the time we “saved” doing what will make great memories.
A couple of decades ago, a popular women’s magazine featured an essay by a 95 year old woman. In it, she listed what she’d change in her life if she had it to do all over again. She said, “I would run barefoot more, dance more, sing more, play more . . . and love more.”
I would add be silly more often, kiss more, hug more, open all the fire hydrants on hot days, sneak off to fun movies more, be a kid more often.
A grand memory: In Washington, D.C. there was this wonderful seedy movie theater owned by two elderly brothers who loved classic films. They loved being kings of their little movie fiefdom. So they created the first Dollar movies ever heard of at that time.
Ten tickets for ten dollars and use them anytime you wished. I discovered the Circle Theater in the heart of the K Street culture when my son and I were invited to join a single dad and his three sons to a cheap date. He sprung for the tickets; I bought the candy. I was hooked. Anytime I wanted to “run away” from real life, I would run to the Circle Theater. It was fun sitting in an afternoon film, surrounded by folks with brief cases at their feet and candy in their fists – all hooky players like me.
It’s so hard to play being a kid these days. Even kids are having trouble being kids. That said, it’s not impossible. Each morning, I take a minute to stretch my arms and legs before I get out of bed. Why not stretch my mind and imagination, too? Tomorrow, I’ll try it. What’s going to be exciting today, World?” I’ll ask. And the world will say — what?
Meditation for the Day
Ancient Egyptians believed that they would be asked two questions when they die; their
answers would decide the direction of their afterlife journey. The first question was, “Did you bring joy?” The second was, “Did you find joy?” Leo Buscaglia
Action for the Day
Today, I’ll ask myself, “What’s my exciting thing for today? And I’ll take time to answer.
Jiggle Wiggle Flexible Jell-O™
I believe that you control your destiny, that you can be what you want to be.
You can also stop and say, ‘No, I won’t do it, I won’t behave this way anymore. Leo Buscaglia US author, educator
In Washington, D.C., there’s an AA meeting I really enjoy. The crowd is always raucous – they cheer and stomp their feet and visit back and forth as speakers tell their stories. Although I usually go there when one of “my boys” is celebrating, it’s the first timer who brings tears to my eyes.
My favorite is a young man in his twenties who seemed to have a hard time standing up. He was pale and stressed out and a little sweaty. He said, mumbling: “Yesterday I was drunk. But I started thinking about how things would be if I got sober. So this morning, I tossed out a vodka bottle and the three beers I had left. I’ve been sober now for about nine hours. I hope I can keep it up. I tried a couple of times before and it didn’t take. But this time I made myself come here.”
The leader hugged him and pressed a one day chip into his hand. The shouting and cheering became too loud for me to hear what folks were saying to him but I could see the way he was being hugged and encouraged. What made him decide to get to the AA meeting – finally? Well, it’s like this. If you’ve ever seen the commercial where the people jiggle like Jell-O™ and twist themselves into shapes of letters, you see it in action. He was flexible. He had the choice of being a drunk or being someone with a real life. He voted with his feet: he came to the meeting.
A gazillion years ago, in Roman times, a slave named Epectitus decided that we order our lives by our attitudes about what’s happening to us. He said that concentrating on being flexible mentally helps us CHOOSE how we look at whatever is happening to us.
Are you flexible in how you think or act about what’s happening in your world? Can you find the flexibility in you to choose the reaction that is in your best interest?
Meditation for the Day
“The creative thinker is flexible and adaptable and prepared to rearrange his thinking.” A. J. Cropley
Action for the Day
From now on, I’ll ask myself: Am I flexible in how I react to people, places, situations, new ideas? How would my life change if I decided to work on my flexibility?
Come Out and Play?
“What is work and what is play confuses the wisest of men.” Paraphrased, Hindu Holy Book
When I was five, hopscotch was my favorite game. At 10, I liked jacks, sliding down rain-drenched neighborhood hills on huge pieces of cardboard, and hunting for wild violets. At 16, I was expected to work for money. So I did. I was a telephone operator; it was a terrible job for me. I hated it. It was grinding work with a capital GW.
One day, I became saturated with unhappiness. I went home, cried a lot, dug out my rainy day savings, and learned how to be a secretary. NO, I didn’t like that, either. But while I learned how to write bad shorthand, I did do one good thing – I earned my GED. Using that GED, I went to college. I became a writer. Now that’s been a life time of FUN!
Once upon a time, a boy born with a disfiguring hare lip had a rough time growing up; he was rejected, humiliated, bullied by cruel classmates. By age 14, he had no successes to claim his own. His only ambition at age 14 was to have a job. He applied alone; he went with friends. They were hired; he was not. After a humiliating go round with a fast food chain, he knew. “They don’t want their customers to see me,” he told his mother.
Soon after, one of those managers lost almost all his teenage employees at once; he decided to hire the boy. They kept him in the back unloading frozen chickens and cleaning. Never mind, the boy was delighted. He did his work and filled in for anyone who didn’t show up. He did his very best at the most menial chores, cheerfully. Soon, he was transferred to the front. “Mom, mom” he cried out that night, “I’m flipping burgers and my class mates saw me!” When he left for a better job, the managers bought him a dressy sweater as a thank you for his exceptionally good work habits!
Today, this same boy is a physical therapist. He says he knows how his patients feel because he suffered. David is now a very happy man – and thanks to a fine surgeon, a very handsome man.
Meditation for the Day
“Anything you’re good at contributes to happiness.” Bertrand Russell, British writer
Action for the Day
Today I’ll look at my work and find in it what pleases me most. Or consider changing my work or how I approach it so it is pleasing to me.
Three Cheers for Audacity!
“Success is the child of audacity.” Unknown
In 2008, a relatively young man of 46 upset the entire political scene in America. Barack Obama, who created the first Internet grass roots political campaign in our time, had the audacity to compete for presidency of our nation.
As the Democratic Presidential Nominee Barack Obama said repeatedly that it is only because of the American Dream that a bi-racial man from a working class can family run for President. Most of our country was stunned when he won the Demoncratic Nomination against one of the most powerful political families in our country. His story will always be one of David vs. Goliath and like the Bible story tells us, David won.
What is most important is what his nomination means to all kids, to all adults who tell themselves their dreams are impossible. His nomination says anything is possible.
Within weeks his was nomination teachers were reporting that students were suddenly taking their studies more seriously. I CAN DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE, they know now. One father said of his daughter, “Now I look at her future differently. I won’t let her “settle” now.”
So what does this mean to you? No one expects you to run for the presidency. But this man’s story says that the only barriers we face are those we accept. So, did you drink today? Smoke until your throat hurts? You took drugs this morning? Listen carefully. That is not NOW. Whatever you do that is self destructive you can turn around. This man decided to earn scholarships to the best colleges so he earned the grades to do that. He wanted to squeeze the best he could from his experiences – and he did. He knew this: YOU CAN MOVE ON; YOU CAN CHANGE; YOU CAN GROW if you decide that’s the only thing you want more than anything else in your world. That’s the lesson Barack Obama’s election offers everyone.
Meditation for the day
“Yes You Can.” American President Barack Obama
Action for the Day
What do I want to be doing 30 days from now? I will write that on my mirror and let nothing sidetrack me. Nothing. Not even me.
The Fourth of July!!!
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“You can protect your liberties in this world only by protecting the other man’s freedom. You can be free only if I am free.” Clarence Darrow, American lawyer, speaker, writer |
Excerpt from the Declaration of Independence:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”
After the 9/11 attack on America, victims’ and heroes names echoed on television; were pinned on photos of the victims near what became Ground Zero. Photos show a kaleidoscope of nationalities, ethnicities, religions, and genders. Every group imaginable is represented in the victims’ – and the heroes — rosters.
So, as we head towards the presidential campaign, I yearn for a leader who knows that when we accept each others’ differences and celebrate our similarities, we truly honor those who die or are maimed in the service of our country. Wherever and whenever.
This is the toughest task we can ask of each other. There are so many differences among us. Different cultures require different responses; we have diverse speech, diverse backgrounds, even different uses of personal space. But nothing is insurmountable. ANYTHING can be solved if good will is there.
Today, the fireworks are for all of us. The high school baton twirlers and marching bands are for all of us. The incredibly diverse July 4th concerts at the Washington Monument and Capitol steps are for all of us. This is OUR day. Happy Fourth of July, everyone!
Meditation for the Day
Difference is not the same as lesser.
Action for the Day
Today, I’ll think of one person I’ve always considered very different from me and think of three things we have in common and celebrate those three things with them.
Hot Sand and Fireworks
“Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.”Charles M. Schulz, cartoonist, Peanuts
“Each day I think I’ve got it all licked. Then just as I relax and let it all hang out, I get zapped with something – small or not so small. Am I jinxed or something?” A musician friend of mine said this just after he “jinxed” himself. He insisted, on his second day working for a well known performer, that he be paid twice for the same down payment he had already received. Why? Because he, my friend, had lost his first down payment. The famous singer said, “NO, and forget it, Tom. I can’t work with someone who tries to hustle me.”
Knowing Tom as I do, he wasn’t trying to take advantage of the man but he was not working in his own best interest. The mistake Tom made, and which lost him a great opportunity, was to believe that someone else should be responsible for his lack of responsibility. In fact, Tom is the most self-destructive talent I’ve ever known.
He’s not alone. We all do it – it’s called “shooting yourself in the foot.” I’ve done it; you’ve done it; our Aunt Susie has done it. Unfortunately, it’s human nature to blame the other guy. We skip over our errors; we don’t want to see what we contributed to our failures or near failures so we refuse to see them. Some blame a lack of education when they made the decision to run off to play instead. Some blame the supervisor who “doesn’t like me” but forget to mention that they miss too many days of work, arrive late every day, and may slough off as much work as they can onto others. And whine.
Some, on the other hand, grit their teeth and learn from the rough spots. They get it that life has some rain but lots of sunshine each day and grab the goodies they “find”. When we leave denial behind us, we are more able to see opportunities.
Here’s an amusing and enlightening example. A gal pal was moaning about not having a man in her life. Another gal suggested she count every man she interacts with each day as one of “her men.” Lo and behold, after two weeks, she had an impressive list of men she had met, talked to, shared coffee with, etc. More than she had met in months! She opened her mind to new acquaintances that happen to be male. And there was lots of ice cream out there.
Meditation for the Day
Change can come about, one day at a time, if you really want change.
Action for the Day
Today, I’ll look for opportunities for change and for happiness and take advantage of them as I find them.
Laugh and the World Laughs With You
“Laughter is the closest distance between two people.” Victor Borge, American Comedian and Pianist
Ask most women what is sexy and you may find yourself surprised. When polled, most women say the best husband is one who has a good sense of humor. Did you ever notice that even just hearing other people laugh makes us feel good? I have a theory. I think that happiness is so closely associated with laughter that we feel happy whenever we laugh – or even just hear happy laughter.
Children’s laughter is especially warming. A basketball hoop and small playground are near my home and youngsters’ laughter punctuates every day. Teens’ around the hoop and laughter of little ones running in games bring back memories of my own Hopscotch days and remind me that life has, as always, lots of innocence in it.
One evening, as I sit reading, I hear laughter wafting through my open window. A family who lives nearby has out of town family members visiting. They sit on a nearby porch; as the evening goes on; their chatter is occasionally interrupted by huge waves of hearty laughter. You know, the kind that comes with reviews of past family gaffes.
Their family laughter reminds me of a day when I was a small child. We were visiting an uncle who was a baker. Each day, Uncle Tony returned home with long crisp loaves of bread tucked under his arm. This day, my grandfather sat under a bird cage. My grandmother jokingly took a loaf of the bread and tapped Grandpa Ralph sharply over the head. It was dry stale bread. It broke into a hundred pieces, crumbs flying everywhere! Grandpa Ralph jumped up, hit the cage, and accidentally set the bird free! Everyone raced to catch “Tweetie” but we were all laughing so hard we had a tough time putting Tweetie back in his cage. We laughed so hard we were exhausted by the time we left Uncle Tony’s home. It was a great day.
Meditation for the Day
“Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.”
Action for the Day
From now on, I’ll look for the laughs in life; large ones and small ones. Mine and others’.
