Friends are Precious but Few
“It’s the friend you can call up at 4 a.m. that matters.” Marlene Dietrich
Do you have lots of friends or do you have lots of acquaintances? It’s said that if we have just three good friends in our lifetime, we are rich.
But acquaintances we have aplenty. It’s hard to tell the difference between strangers and friends these days; instant first name friendship is the style. The grocer calls me Lane; my dentist calls me Lane; the youngster behind the ice cream counter would call me Lane if she knew my name.
I remember when women began to object to always being referred to by their first name in business while all men, even those with baby fat still clinging to their jaws, were called the respectful Mr. When women began to object to that subtle power-labeling out loud, business men threw up their hands and said, “Oh if it’s that important, you may call me by my first name!” And with that little exchange, our American society flipped us into instant friendships – or the sense of them.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love – no, I adore my oldest and closest friend. I also adore her husband. I value highly my grammar school alumni chum. And I am very fond of my newest friend in this newest town. But I just wish we would take George Washington’s advice a little bit more seriously.
He said: “Be courteous to all but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.”
In other words, let’s allow our friendship to slowly grow from mutual interests and mutual respect and mutual trust before insisting on sharing first names and intimate life histories. Especially life histories.
Meditation for the Day
“Friendship is almost always the union of a part of one mind with the part of another; people are friends in spots.” George Santayana, Educator and Philosopher
Action for the day
Today, as I meet new acquaintances, I will listen to them and get to know them –their thoughts, their character, their ideals. And then, slowly, like a butterfly evolves from egg to chrysalis to beauty, I may invest myself in a mutually rewarding friendship.
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