Having been brought up on the adage “Self praise stinks,” a group of words that always made me cringe, I can relate to Mr. West’s statement. I started resisting this kind of advice at age seven. I never could figure out why folks – particularly girls – were always being told to Be Modest. Be Humble. Be very very quiet about any achievements.

Now lots of moms and dads who believe modesty is the root of all good may not agree but I believe that false modesty and false humiliation can be damaging. Kanye Omari West, record producer and rapper whose debut album The College Dropout and his second album Later Registration won six Grammys and lots of money, was age 30. IMHO, he had the right to be “full of himself” as the Irish say. What that means is having visible joy in your abilities, talents and achievements. What’s wrong with that?

Now I’ll make parents happier. Yes, there is a difference between being “full of yourself” and being an empty braggart. One celebrates you; the other can hurt someone else.

Once upon a time, a young girl singer was appearing in a night club contest. The winner would get a weeks’ engagement. Each of the four contestants waited backstage. As Annie sat talking to her pianist, another girl strutted aggressively up to them. “I don’t know why all these singers are wasting their time. I’m the only one here with enough talent to win,” she said to the young singer. Then she strutted away. Tom, Annies’ accompanist, was worried that this girl’s ploy to undermine Annie’s confidence, would work. He needn’t have worried. Instead, Annie was so angry that when she stepped on the stage, her singing took on that passion and her songs rocked the place. Annie and Tom won hands down amidst standing ovations.

Meditation for the Day

Knowing your worth is inspiring and deserves recognition. However, the superior man is modest in his speech while he exceeds in his actions. A paraphrase of Confucius’ Analects
Action for the Day
Today, I’ll balance the visible pleasure in my skills and achievements with the ability to know the difference between being “full of myself” and being a braggart. One is fun for me; the other may verbally intimidate others who also have the right to be proud of their deeds and talents.

“As a city girl, I didn’t have any experience with butterflies.” Then, one summer in a place called Koinonia Foundation in Baltimore, Maryland, I was drawn to butterflies forever.

Koinonia was a meditation center on 50 acres of grass covered fields punctuated by small running creeks and a large lake. This summer, its facilities were transformed into a summer camp for at risk city children, a dozen college students, two Catholic nuns in full habit, and a small army of “Jesus freaks”. Plus six young Yoga practitioners often stumbled upon in full meditation stances behind Koinonia trees.

The campers were more downtrodden than my ten year old sneakers. Each day, those of us generously called “staff” faced even more daunting challenges from kids who had known little love and no appreciation. Then we had a very special gift from nature.

My students were little ones– age eight to eleven. This day, we were reading the story of Huckleberry Finn aloud. We could hear the gurgling of a nearby creek. When we read about the hero’s raft, the children all begged to see the creek. So off we went, hoping the good Sisters wouldn’t catch us wading in a foot of water pretending we had a raft.

Suddenly, the little ones stopped moving, faces upturned to the top of a small flat area from which water flowed. “Look, look,” they pointed. A little boy had climbed up and stood frozen in fright. He was surrounded by dozens and dozens of swirling bright colored butterflies! “Shhhh, he was told. “Don’t be afraid; they won’t hurt you.”

Children and adults stood quietly, almost holding our breaths, living in the silent moment. Later, the children told the story about the “millions” of butterflies over and over. The camp began to change soon after. The children “gentled down.” They arrived eager to be there. There was more trust between counselors and campers. It was as if the metamorphosis experienced by butterflies – from tiny egg to caterpillar to hard case chrysalis to flying butterflies was being repeated in us. Our characters were being transformed.

Meditation for the Day

“How does one become a butterfly?” “You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” Trina Paulus

Action for the Day

Today, I’ll move slowly, gently through life and I’ll trust me. “Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time.” Written by Deborah Chaskin

I think we could all learn things from nature. For instance, while we sometimes demand perfection from ourselves, a rose bush doesn’t. There are two in front of my doorway. One is very crooked, bent far over and the blossoms all grow on one side. But no one minds walking to that side to see and smell the roses as they almost touch the ground.

In art, as in life, a mistake is often considered nature’s blessing. A painter I knew once had only a single peacock feather for a still life. He could afford nothing more, not even a bowl of fruit. He started to paint the peacock feather but he had only one very large canvas left in his barren studio. He had started a blue theme on it. Now he had no choice but to paint the peacock’s wavy feathers and a cream colored background over the blue. And because he only had one feather for a complete still life, he started to fill the entire huge canvas with its blues and purples and iridescent greens. One late afternoon, as sunlight faded and shadows reached the corners of his studio, he looked at his painting, saw a vague blue horizon on his canvas far in the distance behind his giant feather — and suddenly, the painting was finished for him. Later, it won first prize in an international show. However, the young man was so touched by its strange wild beauty that he refused to sell it. He kept it for himself; it hung in his home for years after.

Meditation for the Day

“If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things in nature have a message you understand, Rejoice, for your soul is alive.” Eleanora Duse

Action for the Day

Each time I walk outdoors, I will stop and really see the surprises nature gives us each and every day. Is there a forget-me-not at the side of this road? Are there pecans under that tree? Is that really a live frog sitting on the curb? Feeding my soul is as important as feeding my body or my purse. What I pass today I may never pass again.

I once read that “good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy is the best bred in the room.” The words made me cringe for that very evening; I had unnecessarily made someone feel uneasy in a big way for a very small reason.

I was on my way home; the food market was crowded and its clerks busy. Finally, I was left to finish my own transaction. When I arrived home, I couldn’t find some childrens’ cookies I had bought. I called the manager and told him I believed I had left them at the store. He suggested I return to the store or get them some other day.

Instead, I chose to make him feel uncomfortable. I said, “And who will pay for my gas for this extra round trip? . . . Then, “But all I have for my grandchildren are three chocolate kisses and I wanted to give them those cookies.” And finally, “Since your service is so poor, maybe I should just go to (their competitor).”

Minutes later, I turned to my kitchen trash can. Sitting on top was my package of cookies! It had fallen from a shopping bag while I unloaded several! I had no choice but to call back and confess my mistake. Yes, my face was very red. I had not only falsely accused his store of poor service; I had been the one who misplaced the cookies! When I said, “All I had was broccoli to give the children and it wasn’t even steamed. It was raw,” he had the good grace to laugh. He demonstrated that he has far better manners than I.

Meditation for the Day

“A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Action for the Day

As I wander through life today, I’ll keep Mr. von Goethe’s observation in mind. I will choose how to use my manners in ways that will paint my portrait as someone who is generous, kind, respectful and cool under stress. That will light up all our lives!

Now that Mother Teresa’s talk of her lapses of faith in God – her Higher Power—is public knowledge, some see her struggle with faith as a reason to justify their own avoidance of any. That’s very sad for those who doubt the existence of a Higher Power yet relate to one are those who may have the greatest faith of all.

Recently, I had reason to look back at my own relationship with my Higher Power. I remembered those days as a single mother with a sick child when challenges seemed insurmountable. I remember my conversations with God then: “Listen God, I’m not asking for a miracle. I said I’d do this and I will, but You need to send me the strength to do all this.” I also remember my screaming arguments with God. “Hey you up there. You’d better have a star in heaven for me for all this stuff You’re asking of me.” And sometimes, shaking my fist in His general direction, I would shout, “Okay, I’ve had enough. Get Yourself down here and do something to help right now.”

I was convinced I had no faith in this Higher Power. After all, I was screaming at Him, wasn’t I? But after reading about Mother Teresa’s feelings of abandonment, I had what’s been called an “electric light over my head” moment. I may have been as mad as a drunken hornet while I struggled but I spoke to Him. And I did it on a regular basis. Seesh, I thought yesterday, I had a lot of faith. P.S. I still yell at Him sometimes and I still believe He hears me.

Meditation for the Day

“We think having faith means being convinced God exists in the same way we are convinced a chair exists. People who cannot be completely convinced of God’s existence think faith is impossible for them. Not so. People who doubt can have great faith because faith is something you do, not something you think. In fact, the greater your doubt the more heroic your faith.” Real Live Preacher, RealLivePreacher.com PS RLP is a real live preacher.

Action for the Day
It’s said that when a man takes one step toward God, God takes more steps toward that man than there are sands in the worlds of time, so today I’ll take that one step towards God, or my Higher Power, even if the step I take seems a very small one to me.

Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary says that joy is inspired by success, good fortune; or is a state of happiness. It also says joy is a source or cause of delight. That’s such a nice juicy happy word – delight. To me, it means laughter, happiness, giggles, hugs, and all kinds of loving things.

Some people have the gift of knowing they are happy – even delighted – at the moment they are experiencing that emotion. I envy them. Most of us look back and remember happy moments and that helps us recognize that We’ve had them. Some people are so busy looking for them they miss those moments. But some others – like the folks I met in Athens, Greece one year — have those moments nailed. They know they are happy exactly at the same moment that they are happy.

I once watched a Greek man I knew order dinner. He had worked hard all day, through his afternoon siesta, and on to ten p.m. when most Greeks finish working. Yet here he sat, totally relaxed, reading the menu aloud with joy. He was enjoying himself so much one would think it was a national holiday. He ordered food for his table like a potentate gathering up special bits for his favorite wife. It was so in the moment and so charming. Small wonder Zorba the Greek was so appealing and so believable.

I learned in Greece that living in the present moment is part of the path to joy.

Meditation for the Day

“When you wish someone joy, you wish them peace, love, prosperity, happiness… all the good things.” Maya Angelou, American Poet

Action for the Day
Today, I’ll try to live in the present. I’ll practice compartmentalizing my life so that I can live in the now – if only for an hour. And I’ll seek to make those present moments, no matter how brief, full of peace, pleasure, and laughter. I’ll laugh, talk and enjoy. Zorba wouldn’t wish me less.

The mailman came and the mailman went. She walked to the lobby mailboxes and inserted her key into her apartment’s box. The letter in it was very fat, stuffed to its utmost, and this is how she knew she had not been rejected.

“They always send a one page, “Sorry but No Thanks” letter when they reject you,” she thought as she hefted the heavy envelope in her two hands. Still . . .

She didn’t have the patience to take the letter to her apartment before opening it. And so it was that the woman’s neighbors heard her screams. Out they poured from every door near the apartment lobby, fearing their city neighbor had been molested in some way.

Are you alright, Susan, they asked, one after the other. She waved the open letter at them. “No, no, I’m alright,” she gasped. “I’m fine. I’m better than fine.” She hugged the letter to her heart.

Well, then, what? they asked in chorus.

And that’s how her neighbors, young and old, male and female, learned that in another month, at age 62, their elderly neighbor would become the oldest graduate student in the nearby university. (She graduated in 1996.)

Meditation for the Day

“Human beings have an inalienable right to invent themselves.” Author Germaine Greer in O magazine

Action for the day

Today, I’ll review my dreams. Which dream still tugs at my heart? Am I ready to reinvent myself? Or do I tell myself I am too young or too old or too anything to pursue the itch that needs scratching? What if that’s not true? What if I can have my dream? What if yesterday is past and tomorrow holds new promises? How would working to attain that dream change my life?

Most religions have a concept of how we each received the talents and skills we have received. My favorite is this: As we stepped through the door to our parents and our lives on earth, each of us is handed a surprise package wrapped in red sunlight tied with star ribbons. The packages are filled with talents and skills, each tailored especially to each baby.

Some babies get a talent for reading; another for music; still another, a talent for numbers. Some of us may get a talent for friendships; another for learning; perhaps still another for understanding what they see and hear. We all get something. Each of us gets our unique combination of talents. Some talents may be blazingly apparent; others may be smaller but just as valuable. Using your talents hones them, makes them grow, shapes them.

No matter what talent you have been given, use it in every way possible. As author Henri-Fredrick Amiel said, “Work while you have the light. You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you.” My family priest says we are the stewards of our gifts.

Meditation for the Day

“Whatever you are by nature, keep to it; never desert your line of talent. Be what nature intended you for and you will succeed.” Sydney Smith, English essayist

Action for the Day

Today, I will make a list of all the things I love enough to do without getting paid for doing them. Then I’ll make another list of ways I can use those same talents more often. Using my talents for all the world to see –– whatever they are — will definitely add to the world’s light – and to the Light in My Life.

From the words of the Apostle Paul to Snoopy the Dog, love is said to be the most important essence in our lives. Even physicians and psychiatrists write weighty tomes of how love – given and taken – influences our mental and physical health. Love’s even be proven to affect our longevity.

But how do we ensure that we get our share of love or at least enough to sustain us?

To get a friend, one must be a friend. To get love, we must be able to give love.

During college, I spent summers teaching at Adirondack Mountain summer camps. One camp had a tradition I learned to love. It was called “Peanut Pal Week.” It went like this: Late one evening, camp counselors cracked open peanut shells, put a slip of paper with a camper’s name on it in each shell ( after eating the peanut inside) and glued the shell shut. The next morning, each camper took a peanut shell.

They cracked open the shell, learned their Peanut Pal’s name, told no one, and spent the following week doing secret kindnesses for their Peanut Pal. My Pal sent me an extra dessert (theirs) one evening. Another time, my Pal had a group sing for me outside my cabin. All sorts of loving little things were done for each camper that week . . . and of course, everyone tried to guess who their secret Peanut Pal was.

On the final evening of that week, we had a camp party. Each Peanut Pal dressed like their Peanut Pal. Mine was a huge surprise to me! A very shy 13 year old wore my camp uniform ( with appropriate bosom padding), wore super-large eyeglasses perched on his freckled nose, and wore a sign on his back that said, :”Can you guess who I am?” Of course, I felt great affection for this youngster remembering all the effort he had put into my Peanut Pal experience.

You needn’t wear a sign to show that you can be loving to others. Just forget yourself and be a Peanut Pal for awhile.

Meditation for the Day

To get love, one must be able to give love — and to accept love when it comes their way.

Action for the Day

This week, I’ll demonstrate my ability to love by showing consideration and thoughtfulness to those around me. My actions need not be large; even a smile in the morning or an offer to get someone’s coffee for them is a loving act. This week, I’ll accept loving gestures gracefully and with appreciation. This week, I’m a Peanut Pal.

Once upon a time, some years ago, a musical group my family knew called The Harmoniacs took me with them to a veterans’ hospital in Orange, New Jersey. This hospital was not just any veterans’ hospital. It specialized in treating war wounded military who were amputees and paraplegics. I was sixteen and a singing student. The male Harmoniacs’ female singer canceled her appearance at the last minute. Desperate, the Harmoniacs asked my guardians if I could accompany them to sing for the veterans.

At the hospital, we moved from ward to ward, entertaining very badly wounded men. One young man of 20 lay flat on a bed, unable to move any part of his body but his eyes. As I stood near him singing, I could see he was listening intently. His eyes followed me. My heart was breaking as I smiled and sang. He’s not much older than I am, I thought. I tried to imagine his life and it was unimaginable to me.

Soon after, as we moved through a long hallway, a door slammed open and laughter and shouts greeted us. “Watch out, we’re coming through,” shouted one man in a wheelchair. “Keep going, don’t stop. We’re winning,” shouted another man as he slam-bam wheeled down the hallway, followed by a rag tag group of other men in wheelchairs. We quickly flattened against the wall. The guys were having a wheelchair race!

I was incredibly impressed with their courage. But mostly, I was forever touched by their ability to find happiness under their wheelchair wheels in the midst of such great losses. And yes, their startling humor and sense of fun makes me feel, even now when I remember them — as I do often because of our involvement in Iraq’s civil war, ashamed of my own occasional binge of self pity.

Meditation for the Day

“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln, U.S. President

Action for the Day

Today, I will choose to be happy.