When a loved one has a problem with alcohol
You may not immediately realize that someone you love has an alcohol problem. It may have started slowly, and your loved one might also have tried to hide the extent of the drinking from you. You might have gotten so used to the drinking that coping with it seems almost normal. It might actually feel normal if there was an alcoholic in the family growing up. The realization that there is something seriously wrong might be too painful to admit. Don’t be ashamed, and you are not alone. Alcoholism affects millions of families, from every socioeconomic status, race and culture. There is help and support available.
Understanding what is involved in recovery
You cannot force someone you love to stop abusing alcohol. As much as you may want to, and as hard as it is seeing the effects, you cannot make someone stop drinking. The final choice is up to them. The right support can help you make positive choices for yourself, and balance encouraging your loved one to get help without losing yourself in the process.
Don’t expect your loved one to be able to quit and stay sober without outside help. Your loved one will need help, support and new coping skills so that he or she will be able to resist cravings in a society where drinking is often glamorized. What’s more, if your loved one has crossed the line from alcohol abuse to alcoholism, she or he has built up a tolerance to alcohol. Withdrawal symptoms can be unpleasant, painful, and even deadly.
Recovery will be an ongoing process. Someone who abused alcohol will not magically be a different person once sober. Alcohol use may have been masking painful feelings that will bubble up to the surface. It also takes time for the body and brain to recover from the effects of alcohol. Learning new coping skills and how to apply them in stressful situations is an ongoing process.
See Treatment for Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism for more information on recovery and different treatment options.
Finding support for yourself
A good place to start looking for support is through local support groups. Al-Anon is a free peer support group for families coping with alcoholism. Listening to others with the same challenges can be a tremendous source of comfort and support. Other sources of help and support include trusted friends, a therapist, or a pastor or rabbi.
Keeping your family safe
Dealing with a loved one’s alcohol abuse can be emotionally draining and exhausting. But when the family is threatened with immediate violence, it’s time for immediate action.
Alcohol abuse can lower inhibitions and increase the possibility of violence. Drinking may also become so important that activities like caring for a child fall by the wayside, increasing the chance of child neglect. Visit Domestic Violence and Abuse and Child Abuse and Neglect for more information on hotlines and how to get help if you or children are being abused.
Starting Down the Road to Recovery
If you are abusing alcohol, even admitting that you may have a problem is a huge step. It takes tremendous strength and courage to admit that you are having trouble. Much as you may want to, don’t try to quit alone. Without the right support, it is very easy to rationalize just one more drink, especially since alcohol is everywhere in our society. The road to sobriety is rewarding but challenging. If you take the time to build a support network and learn your triggers for drinking, you will greatly reduce the risk of relapse
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